What ghosting means
To ghost someone is to vanish from their life without a word. Messages go unanswered, calls are ignored and the person may be unfollowed or blocked on social media. It is most common in online dating, but it happens between friends and even in work too.
It differs from a slow fade, where replies gradually become shorter and rarer before stopping.
Why people ghost
Most people ghost to avoid an awkward conversation. Some feel they do not owe an explanation after only a few dates; others are overwhelmed, anxious or have simply lost interest. Dating apps make it easy, as there are no mutual friends and many other matches.
Ghosting is also used, rightly, to get away from someone who is behaving in a pushy or unsafe way. In that case no explanation is needed.
Related dating terms
Breadcrumbing is sending just enough messages to keep someone interested without any real commitment. Orbiting is ghosting someone but still watching or liking their social media posts. Zombieing is when a ghost reappears months later as if nothing happened.
Our guide to dating abbreviations explains more of the language used on apps.
If you have been ghosted
Try not to take it personally: ghosting usually says more about the other person's ability to communicate than about you. Send one final message if it helps you close the chapter, then stop.
If you want to end things yourself, a short, kind message such as "I enjoyed meeting you, but I do not feel we are a match" is usually appreciated. Our guide to catfishing covers another common dating problem.
Your questions, answered
What does ghosting mean?
Suddenly ending all contact with someone without explanation, usually after dating or chatting.
Is ghosting ever OK?
It is reasonable if someone is pushy, rude or makes you feel unsafe. Otherwise, a short honest message is kinder.
How long before it counts as ghosting?
There is no set time, but if someone stops replying for days with no explanation after regular contact, most people would call it ghosting.
