What a swinger is
Swingers are people in committed relationships who have sexual experiences with others as a shared, recreational activity. It is open and agreed by both partners, which is what separates it from cheating.
Swinging is usually about sex rather than love; polyamory, where people have more than one romantic relationship, is different. Our guide to polyamory, open relationships and swinging explains the differences.
Soft swap, full swap and more
Soft swap means playing with others but without full sex, for example kissing and touching. Full swap includes sex with someone other than your partner. Some couples only play in the same room; others are happy to separate.
Many people simply enjoy watching and being watched, which is common at clubs and is close to voyeurism.
How swingers meet
In the UK most people meet through swinging websites and apps, at swinger clubs and at private parties. Clubs are often the easiest start, as the rules are clear and you can just watch.
Our first-timer's guide to swinger clubs explains what a first night is like.
Etiquette
No means no, and "maybe later" also means no. Agree your rules as a couple before you go, never touch without asking, use condoms, and look after your partner's feelings.
Couples looking for a single woman to join them should read our guide to the unicorn first.
Your questions, answered
What is a swinger?
Someone, usually in a couple, who has sex with others with their partner's full agreement, often together.
What is the difference between soft swap and full swap?
Soft swap stops short of full sex with others; full swap includes it.
Where do swingers meet in the UK?
Mostly on swinging websites and apps, at swinger clubs and at private parties.
