Why use lube
Lubricant reduces friction, which makes sex more comfortable and pleasurable and lowers the chance of small tears and condoms breaking. It is not a sign that anything is wrong: arousal, hormones, medication, the menopause and simply the length of a session all affect natural wetness. For anal sex, lube is essential, because the body does not make its own.
The four types
Water-based lube is the all-rounder: safe with every condom and every toy, easy to wash off and unlikely to stain. It dries out sooner, but a splash of water or a little more lube brings it back.
Silicone-based lube lasts much longer and stays slippery in the shower, which makes it popular for anal sex and long sessions. It is safe with condoms but can damage silicone toys, so keep it for glass, metal or hard plastic toys.
Oil-based lube and household oils such as coconut oil feel lovely for massage, but they weaken latex condoms and make them more likely to break. Do not use them with latex. Hybrid lubes mix water and silicone for a longer-lasting feel that is still easy to clean.
Sensitive skin and health
If you are prone to thrush or irritation, avoid lubes with glycerin, parabens, fragrance, warming or tingling ingredients. Look for products described as pH-balanced and body-safe. Spermicide (nonoxynol-9) can irritate and is not recommended.
If you are trying to conceive, choose a lube labelled fertility-friendly. Stop using any product that stings or itches, and see a sexual health clinic if symptoms continue.
Which lube for what
Condoms: water-based or silicone. Silicone toys: water-based. Anal sex: thicker water-based or silicone. Massage: a massage oil, but not with latex condoms. Sex in water: silicone.
You can buy lube in pharmacies, supermarkets and adult shops. Our guides to using a condom and choosing and cleaning toys go further.
Your questions, answered
Which lube is best with condoms?
Water-based or silicone-based lube. Oil-based lube weakens latex condoms.
Can you use silicone lube with silicone toys?
It is best not to. Silicone lube can damage silicone toys; use water-based lube instead.
Is coconut oil a good lube?
It is fine for massage and without condoms, but it weakens latex condoms and can upset vaginal balance in some people.