Dress codes are taken seriously
Most fetish clubs and events have a strict dress code, and door staff will turn people away who don't meet it. Typical options include rubber, latex, PVC, leather, uniform, burlesque or full gothic wear. Everyday clothes, jeans and trainers are almost never accepted.
New to it? All black in a suitable material is a safe start. Check the event page for exact rules, as some nights have a theme. You can find venues and nights in our fetish clubs listings.
You don't need to spend a fortune. Many regulars started with one good piece, a pair of boots or a simple PVC top, and built up from there. Some events also accept a smart all-black outfit from first-timers, so it's worth checking.
Consent and the play space
Fetish venues often have a dedicated play area with equipment. The rules here are clear: never touch anyone or anything that isn't yours without asking, never interrupt a scene, and keep a respectful distance when watching. Many people enjoy simply watching, which is fine as long as you're quiet and respectful.
Every scene should be negotiated and agreed in advance, with limits respected and a way to stop at any time. Event staff, often called dungeon monitors, are there to keep things safe. Follow their instructions without argument.
Etiquette off the play floor
Treat everyone with courtesy, whatever their role or style. Don't assume someone wants to interact because of what they're wearing, and never address someone with a title or role they haven't invited.
Privacy is vital in the fetish community. Photography is normally banned or restricted to a set area, and you should never identify anyone you meet. Keep drinking moderate, especially if you plan to take part in anything.
A useful rule of thumb: if you wouldn't do it to a stranger at a party, don't do it here. Hovering too close to a scene, staring, making comments or touching someone's outfit without asking will get you a quiet word from staff, and possibly a request to leave.
Your first visit
Arrive in good time, read the house rules and, if possible, go with a friend who knows the scene. Many clubs run social or munch-style events where you can meet people in a relaxed setting before attending a full night.
If anything happens that crosses a line, speak to staff immediately. If your concern is about how a venue is run, use our report form, and for anything urgent call 999.
Look after yourself, too. Drink water, take breaks, and don't be afraid to sit something out. The best nights are the ones where you go home feeling good and keen to come back.
Your questions, answered
What happens if I don't meet the dress code?
You're likely to be refused entry. Some venues have a changing area, so you can travel in normal clothes and change on arrival.
Do I have to take part in a scene?
No. Plenty of guests come to socialise, dress up and watch respectfully.