What is a sex party?
A sex party, often called a play party, is a private event where consenting adults can meet, socialise and, if they choose, be intimate with others in a relaxed setting. They're usually held in a private home, a hired venue or a club booked for the night, and run by hosts who set the rules and look after guests.
Most of the evening is often surprisingly ordinary: drinks, conversation, music and people getting to know each other. Nobody is obliged to do anything, and plenty of guests spend the night simply chatting or watching. Everyone attending must be over 18, and consent sits at the heart of every well run event.
What is an orgy, and is a play party the same thing?
An orgy is a term for group sex involving several people at once. It's the word many people use when they picture a sex party, but it doesn't really describe how most parties work. At a typical event, guests pair or group up as they wish, and many stay with their own partner.
Some parties have a theme, a dress code or a particular community, such as couples only, LGBTQ+ events or kink focused nights. Others are more mixed. The event description and the hosts will make clear who it's for, so you can find one that suits you.
What is a swingers party, and how is it different from a swinger club?
A swingers party is a play party aimed at people in the swinging lifestyle, usually couples and sometimes single women or men, who enjoy meeting others together. It might be hosted in someone's home or organised through a community or website. Our guide to swinging websites and apps explains how many of these events are found.
A swinger club is a licensed venue that opens on set nights, with staff, a bar, facilities and published house rules, and you can usually just book and turn up. Private parties tend to be smaller and invitation only. If you're new, a club can be an easier first step, and our first-timer's guide to swinger clubs shows what to expect. You can browse venues in our swinger clubs listings.
House rules: consent, phones away and the hosts
Every good party has clear rules, and the most important is consent. Always ask before touching anyone, accept no the first time without question, and remember that anyone can change their mind at any point. Many events use simple signals or a quiet word, and saying no politely is completely normal. Our guide to consent and boundaries covers this in more depth.
Phones are usually put away or banned from play areas entirely, and taking photos or videos is almost always forbidden. Guests are expected to stay sober enough to give and read consent clearly, and anyone who is very drunk will be asked to leave.
The hosts, and at larger events their helpers, keep an eye on things. If anyone makes you uncomfortable, tell a host straight away. Good organisers take this seriously and will remove guests who break the rules.
Invitations, vetting and etiquette for first-timers
Many parties are invitation only, or ask new guests to apply, share a little about themselves, meet the hosts first or come recommended by an existing member. This vetting is there to keep the atmosphere safe and respectful, so don't be put off by it. Expect to show ID to prove you're over 18.
As a first-timer, it's fine to arrive early, chat to the hosts and simply observe. If you're attending with a partner, agree your boundaries beforehand and check in with each other during the evening. Shower before you go, follow any dress code, be friendly without being pushy and leave whenever you want to. Nobody will mind.
Sexual health and the law
Responsible hosts provide condoms and lube, and many guests test regularly for STIs. Use a fresh condom with each new partner, and keep your own testing up to date. Free, confidential testing is available at NHS sexual health clinics across the UK.
In broad terms, a private party where consenting adults choose to be intimate with each other is legal in the UK, and paying a ticket price to cover the venue or drinks doesn't change that. Organisers must not, however, arrange for anyone to be paid for sex at the event, as that could amount to running a brothel, which is illegal. Sexual activity in public view, illegal drugs and anyone under 18 are never acceptable.
This is general information, not legal advice. If you're thinking of organising events, it's worth taking proper legal advice first.
Your questions, answered
What is an orgy?
Group sex involving several people at once. Most modern sex parties are less free for all than the word suggests, with guests choosing who, if anyone, they join.
What is a swingers party?
A private play party for people in the swinging lifestyle, mainly couples, who meet others together. It's usually smaller and more exclusive than a swinger club.
Do you have to join in at a sex party?
No. Many guests just socialise or watch. Consent is the central rule, and you can say no or leave at any time.
Are sex parties legal in the UK?
Private parties between consenting adults are generally legal. Organisers must not arrange paid sex at the event, as that could count as running a brothel.