What is a throuple?

What a throuple is

A throuple, also called a triad, is a relationship in which three people are all together romantically, and often sexually, as one unit. It is different from one person dating two people who are not involved with each other, which is called a V.

Some throuples are closed, meaning nobody sees anyone outside the three; others are open. Many form when a couple and a third person fall for each other, and some begin as three friends.

How it compares with other relationships

A throuple is one form of polyamory, which simply means having more than one loving relationship with everyone's consent. It is different from an open relationship, which is usually about sex with others rather than love, and from swinging, where couples swap or play with others together. Our guide to polyamory, open relationships and swinging explains the differences in detail.

Cheating is the opposite of all of these: it is the secrecy and broken agreement that make it so.

The unicorn question

In dating, a unicorn is a single person, usually a bisexual woman, who joins an existing couple. Couples looking for a unicorn are common, and people who have been one often warn against being treated as an add-on to the couple rather than an equal.

If you are a couple looking for a third, make sure the new person has the same say in rules and decisions as you do.

The law and making it work

In the UK, marriage and civil partnership are limited to two people, so a throuple cannot all marry each other. Many throuples use cohabitation agreements, wills and joint tenancies to protect each other legally.

What helps most: talking often and honestly, agreeing on sexual health and safer sex together, giving each pair time on their own and dealing with jealousy openly rather than hiding it.