How common it is
Finishing too quickly is extremely common: surveys suggest around one in three men experience it at some point. Premature ejaculation (PE) usually means regularly finishing within about a minute of penetration and feeling distressed about it.
Anxiety, excitement, a new partner or a long gap since you last had sex can all make it happen. Most of the time it improves with practice and the techniques below.
It is worth remembering that most partners care far more about connection, foreplay and attention than about how long penetration lasts.
Techniques that work
The stop-start technique: when you feel close, stop all stimulation until the urge passes, then start again. Repeating this teaches you to recognise and control the point of no return. Our guide to edging explains it in detail.
The squeeze technique: when close, you or your partner gently squeeze the head of the penis for a few seconds until the urge fades. Practise both alone first.
Pelvic floor (Kegel) exercises strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation. Squeeze the muscles you would use to stop peeing, hold for a few seconds, relax, and repeat ten times, three times a day. Results usually show after a few weeks.
Simple changes that help
Thicker or "extended pleasure" condoms reduce sensitivity, and some contain a mild numbing agent. Our guide how to use a condom covers fit.
Slow down, breathe deeply and change positions when you feel close. Positions where your partner is on top often make it easier to control. Masturbating a few hours before sex can also help.
Spend more time on foreplay and on your partner's pleasure. Using hands, mouth or toys takes the pressure off penetration; our guides to finding the G-spot and Kama Sutra positions have ideas.
When to see a GP
If it happens most of the time, has lasted for months or is affecting your relationship, speak to a GP or a sexual health clinic. It is a common conversation for them.
Treatments include numbing sprays and creams, and some prescription medicines. Do not buy unlicensed pills online, which can be dangerous; our Viagra UK guide explains how to buy medicines safely.
Talking therapy or psychosexual counselling helps when anxiety is the main cause. The NHS and charities such as Relate can point you to support.
Your questions, answered
How long should sex last?
Studies suggest the average time for penetrative sex is around five to seven minutes, so there is no need to aim for much longer.
Do numbing sprays work?
They can help, by slightly reducing sensitivity; use as directed and let it absorb so it does not numb your partner.
Can pelvic floor exercises help men last longer?
Yes, many men see improvement after a few weeks of regular practice.