What a situationship is
A situationship is a relationship that is more than friendship but less than a committed relationship, and that nobody has put a label on. You might see each other often, sleep together and text every day, without ever agreeing what you are.
The word became popular around 2017 and spread through dating apps and social media. It describes something many people recognise from modern dating.
For some people a situationship is exactly what they want; for others it becomes frustrating when they want more clarity.
Signs you are in one
You have never had "the talk" about what you are. Plans tend to be last-minute rather than made in advance, and you have not met each other's friends or family.
You are not sure whether you are exclusive, or whether the other person is seeing anyone else. The connection feels close at times and distant at others.
If you find yourself wondering where you stand more than you enjoy it, that is a sign it may be time to talk.
Situationship vs friends with benefits
Friends with benefits is usually an agreed arrangement: two friends who have sex, with a clear understanding that it is not a relationship. A situationship is less clear: there are often romantic feelings, but no agreement.
A casual relationship is similar, but both people have usually said it is casual. In a situationship, nothing has been said either way.
Being casual is fine when both people want the same thing. Problems usually start when expectations differ and nobody says so.
How to handle a situationship
Work out what you want first: something casual, exclusivity, or a relationship. Then talk about it honestly and without pressure, ideally face to face.
Be ready for any answer. If you want different things, it is kinder to both of you to end it or change it than to carry on hoping.
Whatever you decide, the basics of respect and consent apply. Our guide to consent, boundaries and walking away covers how to have those conversations.
Your questions, answered
What does situationship mean?
A romantic or sexual relationship that has never been defined or labelled.
How long do situationships last?
There is no set length; some last weeks, others years, until someone asks for clarity.
How do you end a situationship?
Be honest and kind: say what you want, and that it is not working for you as it is.
