What a unicorn is
A unicorn is a single person, most often a bisexual woman, who joins a couple for sex or a relationship, either for one night or longer term. The name comes from how rare and sought after such people are.
You will see the term on swinging and dating apps, where couples often say they are looking for "a unicorn". It is closely linked to threesomes and to polyamorous "triad" relationships.
Some people proudly call themselves unicorns; others find the word puts the couple's needs first. Both views are common.
Unicorn hunting
"Unicorn hunting" describes a couple, often a straight couple, looking for a third person. It has a mixed reputation, because some couples treat the third person as an accessory rather than an equal.
Common complaints from unicorns are rigid rules, being expected to be equally attracted to both partners, and being dropped as soon as the couple feels jealous.
Couples who succeed tend to treat the third person as a whole person with their own needs and boundaries.
How to approach it respectfully
Talk as a couple first: what you want, what is off limits and how you will handle jealousy. Our guides to how to have a threesome and throuples cover this.
Be honest in your profile and messages, and let the third person set their own boundaries. Meet for a drink first with no expectations.
Make sure everyone gets attention and care, during and after. Safer sex matters too: talk about testing and condoms beforehand.
Where people meet
Swinging apps and websites, swinger clubs and polyamory events are the most common places. See our guides to swinging websites and apps and swinger clubs for first-timers.
Many clubs have single women's nights, and some events are aimed at couples looking to meet singles.
Wherever you meet, consent applies to everyone at every stage; see our guide to consent and boundaries.
Your questions, answered
What is a unicorn in a relationship?
A single person, usually a bisexual woman, who joins an existing couple.
Why is it called a unicorn?
Because people willing to join a couple are seen as rare and hard to find.
What is unicorn hunting?
A couple actively looking for a third person to join them.
