What is a strap-on?

What a strap-on is

A strap-on is a harness worn around the hips or thighs that holds a dildo, so the wearer can use it hands-free for penetration. It is used by people of all genders and sexualities.

Lesbian couples, straight couples, trans and non-binary people all use strap-ons. When a woman uses one on a man, it is often called pegging; see our guide What is pegging?.

For many people the appeal is swapping roles, closeness and trying something new together.

Types of harness and dildo

Briefs-style harnesses look like underwear and are the most comfortable for beginners. Strap harnesses use adjustable belts and fit more body shapes. Thigh harnesses hold the dildo on the thigh instead.

Most harnesses have an O-ring, which holds any dildo with a flared base, so you can change size. Strapless strap-ons have a bulb that sits inside the wearer, and double-ended ones stimulate both partners.

Some dildos also have a vibrating bullet. See our guide What is a dildo? for materials and sizes.

Getting started

Choose a smaller, smooth dildo made from silicone for a first try, with a flared base. Adjust the harness so it is snug and the dildo does not wobble.

Use plenty of lube, go slowly, and let the receiving partner control the pace at first. Our lube guide explains which lube suits which toy.

Practising movement before you start can help, as it takes a little while to get used to. Communication matters more than technique.

Safety and cleaning

For anal use, use more lube and go even slower. Never move a toy from anal to vaginal use without washing it or changing the condom on it.

Wash the dildo after every use, and hand-wash or machine-wash the harness according to the label. Store them dry.

Talk about limits and a stop word beforehand; see our guides to consent and boundaries and cleaning sex toys.