What a sub is
A sub is the person who agrees to follow a dominant's lead during a scene or within a relationship. Being submissive is a choice, made freely and with clear limits, and many subs say it gives them a sense of freedom and release.
Our guide to dominant and submissive explains the dynamic from both sides, and a switch is someone who enjoys both roles.
What subs enjoy
Some subs enjoy following orders and rules; some enjoy being restrained, as in bondage or shibari; some enjoy sensation and impact play; others enjoy service, such as being useful to their dominant.
Many subs enjoy only some of these, and that is fine. There is no single way to be submissive.
Sub, slave and other roles
"Sub" is the general term. "Slave" usually means a deeper, longer-lasting arrangement with more control given away, always still by agreement. A brat is a playful sub who teases and resists, and a little is a sub in an age-play-free caregiver dynamic, as described in our guide to the daddy dom.
Labels help people find a good match, but what matters is what you each agree.
Limits, safe words and aftercare
Subs set the limits. Agree hard limits (never) and soft limits (maybe, carefully) before starting, plus a safe word that stops everything at once.
After a scene, subs can feel emotional or low, sometimes called sub drop. Aftercare such as cuddling, water and reassurance helps a lot.
Your questions, answered
What does sub mean in BDSM?
Short for submissive: the partner who willingly gives control to a dominant within agreed limits.
What is the difference between a sub and a slave?
A slave usually gives away more control, more of the time, but always by agreement; sub is the general term.
What is sub drop?
A low or emotional feeling some subs get after a scene. Aftercare helps prevent and ease it.
