What a safe word is
In role-play and BDSM, people sometimes say "no" or "stop" as part of the game. A safe word is a separate word that both partners agree means "stop now, for real". When it is used, everything stops at once, no questions asked.
Pick something that would never come up by accident, such as "pineapple" or "red".
The traffic light system
Many people use colours: green means all good, carry on; yellow means slow down or check in; red means stop completely. It lets a partner adjust without ending the scene.
A dominant can also ask "what colour are you?" to check in during play.
Non-verbal signals
If someone may not be able to speak, for example wearing a gag or a mask, agree a signal instead: dropping a ball or keys held in the hand, tapping three times, or a hand squeeze.
This is essential for anything covering the face; see our guide to gimp meaning.
When a safe word is used
Stop immediately, untie or uncover your partner, and check they are OK. Do not argue, sulk or ask them to carry on. Talk later about what happened, and offer aftercare.
Safe words work alongside, not instead of, a real conversation about limits; our guide to consent and boundaries explains more.
Your questions, answered
What is a safe word?
A word agreed in advance that immediately stops sex or a BDSM scene.
What is the traffic light safe word system?
Green means carry on, yellow means slow down or check in, red means stop.
What if you cannot speak?
Agree a non-verbal signal, such as dropping an object held in the hand or tapping three times.
